Dear Trauma,

In Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;

The empty places,

They shall be filled again.

O voices moaning deep within me, cease."

But vain the word; vain, vain:

Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, "I will crowd action upon action

The strife of faction

Shall stir me and sustain;

O tears that drown the fire of Manhood cease."

But vain the word; vain, vain:

Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, "I will withdraw me and be quiet,

Why meddle in life's riot?

Shut be my door to pain.

Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease."

But vain the word; vain, vain:

Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, "I will submit;

I am defeated.

God hath depleted

My life of its rich gain.

O futile murmuring, why will ye not cease?"

But vain the word; vain, vain:

Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow

Which God to-morrow

Will to His son explain."

Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.

Not vain the word, not vain.

For in Acceptance lieth peace."

~Amy Carmichael

*******

As I continue healing from my health issues, I find I have some trauma to deal with.

My brain loves to bring up and remind me of my most horrible moments.  It writes letters, tells the long story, is flabbergasted and mortified.   This happens in an instant and will go on for five or ten minutes until I catch it.  And I frown and say....dang, I'm spinning again.  And I stop.  And I'm not kidding, within a minute or two, my brain starts over again. Until I catch myself again.  I shake my head.  I try to replace the thoughts with mantras, prayers, Bible verses, songs, as above, breathing and a funny thing my doctor told me....  She said, and I can't remember exactly but it was something like, Hello Trauma, You are here again,  but it's time for you to leave, Good bye.  

And sometimes I just have to get up....cause you know this loves to happen when I'm in bed.

So I'm working on it. But the thoughts are very persistent. 

There are days when I feel like the medical issues will never end, the thoughts make life feel terrible and purposeless.  

I think the one thing I have not done is accepted that it happened, it's over, and I can't do anything to change it. 

 When I think about it, accepting a diagnosis like epilepsy or diabetes is not much different than accepting the things that are nagging at me.

 Until I do learn to accept those things as just a part of my story (and mostly in the past)  I will wonder and fret and rehash and feel blue.  

"Acceptance, in its truest sense, means acknowledging reality without resistance or judgment, regardless of whether you like or want the situation. It's about recognizing what is happening and letting go of the desire to change it, even if you don't approve of it. This allows for a calmer, more present state, reducing stress and anxiety." ~AI google definition.

"even if you don't approve"...or see the point of it.

We don't get to know the meaning to a lot of things in life,  but I am tired of fighting and being harrassed by the voices in my head.  So I will try to get rid of those thoughts by acknowledging them first and then...

Acceptance.

*******

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain.
For in Acceptance lieth peace."

~Amy Carmichael

I'll let you know how it goes. 

Encourage one another, 

P.s. Thank you Janet and Cindy for praying, pointing always to the light and for your special loving words and care. Patrick too. Patrick too.

Dear Trauma.....

I know you are waiting.

“Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart—

oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape—

of your sister.”—Katherine Mansfield

I always knew I loved her.
I never imagined she would be gone.
I miss her.
She was my funny, loving, generous, brilliant, Irish twin.

Beth: I know I shall be homesick for you even in Heaven.
~L.M. Alcott

"I can never lose one
whom I have loved unto the end;
one to whom my soul cleaves so firmly
that it can never be separated
does not go away
but only goes before."

St. Bernard of Clairvaux

*******

I know you are waiting,

just around the corner.

Remembering Sue.

With so much love.

Donna Elsie

 

For we love our Robin best!

I found the Robin post.  

Anita, you make me laugh!

Again.

Not the harbinger of spring poem like I thought, but a cute sweet poem by Louisa May Alcott.

No robin picture.

Just some of my favorite flower pictures.

April is humming along...

Planning for spring and summer visits to nests in 

Missouri and Arizona.

Here I am getting my vitamin D....

Too few sunny days...

but I am trying.

Big squint!

Hair looking nice with blonde added!!!

When you had no hair and now you have hair you are allowed to say your hair looks nice.

hahaha

Encourage one another,

Take care friends!

Love Donna

 

When you go looking for the post about Robins.....

I wanted to find my old post about robins because I found a hilarious comment from long time blog friend, Anita.  

Alas, no robin sighting in the archives yet...but gosh darn it...

Look what I found.  

We are always nostalgic on birthdays...and it's Emma's birthday today.

You've all known her since she was about 14 years old on this blog.  She is 36 today.  Happy Birthday, my darling girl.  

The following post is from April 2012.  I'll keep looking for that silly robin.

*********

Flash Back Friday


When I flip thru my pictures I do not think of a theme...I just pick out cute pictures.




This is Matthew. Love him.




This is Emma. Love her.



The whole crew. Love them.



Patrick and Matthew.
Loving.




I mean...come on....

Patrick Sr and Patrick Jr.



Emma verses the cake.



"He likes to butt things with his head."
"How proud you must be."

not really....a bucket of jays caramel corn makes the perfect size hat for a one year old.




apparently a bicycle helmet doubles for a football helmet.

With a stay at home mom...kids learn to make do.
It's good for them.




darling boys....
boyers and bouchers




our precious twins
1988
they are not my babies....but i am very fond of them :o)




no theme...just cuteness galore.


******

Enjoy your babies.
lovelovelove.


Be always coming home.

Please.


Encourage one another,
Donna

Put on your positive pants.

“The real things haven't changed.

 It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”

                                           ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid.

Deut. 31:16

Encourage one another,

Donna 

Keep me reasonably sweet.

 oh gosh, a month went by....

I have long loved this prayer....reposting it from 2009

I have always wanted to share this funny prayer on the blog and don't think I have done so yet.
It is found in Elisabeth Elliot's little book "Gateway to Joy".

It is attributed to a seventeenth-century nun.

Grandma Glyman holding baby Matthew in 1985.  Matthew's middle name is Glyman and it confused the heck out of the older folks.  My middle name comes from Grandma Glyman.  It's Elsie.

Lord, You know better than I know myself that I am getting older and will someday be old. Keep me from... the fatal habit of thinking I must say something in every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody, helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but You know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind from the recital of endless details-give me wings to come to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and my love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others' pains, but help me to endure the with patience. I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I will be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint-some of them are so hard to live with-but a sour old woman is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so.

I tell you, not talking about physical ailments is very very hard.  I've always been sweet....so maintaining that has been a bit of a challenge lately.  (retired husband and all...haha)

Anyway.  Enjoy the prayer and may it be an encouragement.

Love you. Mean it.  

Donna Elsie 

Moon Rise

Whenever there is news of a big full moon I run around town looking for the best place to see it rise.

Nine times out of ten.  I do not see it.  It's uncanny.  

Our house is surrounded by pine trees.

They make a glorious sound when it is windy.

However they make my sunrise and moonrise viewing

frustrating.

Anyway, I'm not just here to complain.

I want to tell you my sweet delight yesterday upon leaving Physical therapy at ten to five.

I looked to my left to make my right hand turn

and there, rising above our main street was the big beautiful full moon.

I smiled and scanned the horizon the whole way home; Not seeing it most of the time,

but a getting a thrilling glimpse 

every so often.

Most things I can capture satisfactory with my camera,

but not the moon.  

This image is from the lovely picture book, 

Owl Moon by Jane Yolken.

It's the quietest of books you will read.

 

"When you go owling you don’t need words or warm or anything but hope. That’s what Pa says. The kind of hope that flies on silent wings under a shining Owl Moon."

Seeing the moon on my drive home made me feel these kind of feels.

It's just that way for me.

Encourage one another,

Donna

 

I was the youngest kid in my class.

This picture is from Prom, 

Wheaton Central High School.

1974

Sue was a Senior and I was a Junior.

Sue graduated in 1974. Her class just celebrated their 50th high school reunion.

Gosh.  Aren't they old.

ah hem.  My 50th is this year.

But, you know, I was young for my class.

*****

The Folks Inside by Shel Silverstein

Inside you, boy,

There's an old man sleepin',

Dreamin', waitin' for his chance.

Inside you, girl,

There's an old lady dozin',

Wantin' to show you a slower dance.

So keep on playin,

Keep on runnin',

Keep on jumpin', til the day

That those old folks

Down inside you

Wake up....and come out to play.

*****

No one could have explained to me how odd it feels to be in the Betty White,

Aunt Bea era but you still feel like Bewitched or Mindy.

 (Mork and Mindy that is)

When I sent out Christmas cards this year, I actually thought,

people are not going to know who the heck I am.

(you know, the hair)

Life is funny and weird and I'm suppose to be thankful to be alive.

Which I am.

But it's still weird to be...elderly.

Never forget.

I was the youngest kid in my class, the class of 1975.

And the middle child.

There's that too.

ha

Love ya.

Mean it.

Aging quizzically,

Donna Elsie

PS.  Ages of the sisters in the picture

Nancy (21), Sue (17), Cindy (13), Donna (16)

Janice and Janet (8)

 

It is enough. Afterall.

1 Corinthians 13:13

But now faith, hope, and love remain, these three:

but the greatest of these is love.

*******

Thank you friend.

2025 will be a year of healing.

Mind, body and spirit.

*****

What more could anyone ask for?  

If you have one such friend. 

You are blessed.

I am blessed.

In searching my photos,

I found some gems.....

I'm all over the place today.

Happy NEW Year to YOU!

Love you.

Mean it!

Encourage one another...you are so good at it!

Donna