..'make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, attend to your own business and work with your hands.'
1 Thess 4:11-12
I wrote this post in January of 2004.
The first week I started blogging.
My Instagram was hacked a few weeks ago and I can not seem to recover it. It held fifteen years of stories and pictures and lots of other things, mostly silly. I have started a new Instagram but I am not setting my heart on it being there forever. In fact, the fact that this blog is still up and going is pretty remarkable. Thank you blogger.
I did lose the comments three different times. The most heartbreaking was losing the comments after Sue died. The comments were a giant source of wisdom and comfort to me. For over a year I posted when I struggled and you all came thru with kindness and virtual hugs. Losing the comments was bad.
I was trying to share about my hair regrowth after chemo/cancer treatment on Instagram. I think it was helpful. But, it is gone now too.
I may try to post the videos I made here....if I can.
It also makes me want to start printing pictures again.
Nothing more secure feeling than having your pictures in a shoebox, in a closet.
I really don't like conflict. Defending oneself is pretty futile. Sharing something important or interesting...that's more like it :o)
Writer's Inc. is a helpful, encouraging resource.
"There is one type of writing, however, that may have more to offer than most movies. It is called personal writing, or writing that comes from within, carried out because you have a personal need to explore or share your experiences."
"Once you get into personal writing, you'll soon realize your thoughts and experiences are no more than starting points. You'll begin to turn these initial ideas inside out and see them in new ways. This might sound like heady stuff, but it really isn't. Personal writing is simply an effective way to examine your world."
"Journal writing works best when it is done on a regular basis....The important point is to get into a writing routine."
"In the best of all worlds, journal writing will become a very important part of your life, right up there with good friends and good food. But we will settle for something far more practical and down to earth: That through journal writing you will begin to feel more comfortable with the physical act of writing and more confident in your ability to express yourself." ______________________________
It is a gem of a book!
______________________________
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it,...and, above all. accurately so they will be guided by its light." -Joseph Pulitzer
As I continue healing from my health issues, I find I have some trauma to deal with.
My brain loves to bring up and remind me of my most horrible moments. It writes letters, tells the long story, is flabbergasted and mortified. This happens in an instant and will go on for five or ten minutes until I catch it. And I frown and say....dang, I'm spinning again. And I stop. And I'm not kidding, within a minute or two, my brain starts over again. Until I catch myself again. I shake my head. I try to replace the thoughts with mantras, prayers, Bible verses, songs, as above, breathing and a funny thing my doctor told me.... She said, and I can't remember exactly but it was something like, Hello Trauma, You are here again, but it's time for you to leave, Good bye.
And sometimes I just have to get up....cause you know this loves to happen when I'm in bed.
So I'm working on it. But the thoughts are very persistent.
There are days when I feel like the medical issues will never end, the thoughts make life feel terrible and purposeless.
I think the one thing I have not done is accepted that it happened, it's over, and I can't do anything to change it.
When I think about it, accepting a diagnosis like epilepsy or diabetes is not much different than accepting the things that are nagging at me.
Until I do learn to accept those things as just a part of my story (and mostly in the past) I will wonder and fret and rehash and feel blue.
"Acceptance, in its truest sense, means acknowledging reality without resistance or judgment, regardless of whether you like or want the situation. It's about recognizing what is happening and letting go of the desire to change it, even if you don't approve of it. This allows for a calmer, more present state, reducing stress and anxiety." ~AI google definition.
"even if you don't approve"...or see the point of it.
We don't get to know the meaning to a lot of things in life, but I am tired of fighting and being harrassed by the voices in my head. So I will try to get rid of those thoughts by acknowledging them first and then...
Acceptance.
*******
He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow Which God to-morrow Will to His son explain." Then did the turmoil deep within him cease. Not vain the word, not vain. For in Acceptance lieth peace."
~Amy Carmichael
I'll let you know how it goes.
Encourage one another,
P.s. Thank you Janet and Cindy for praying, pointing always to the light and for your special loving words and care. Patrick too. Patrick too.
“Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart—
oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape—
of your sister.”—Katherine Mansfield
I always knew I loved her. I never imagined she would be gone. I miss her. She was my funny, loving, generous, brilliant, Irish twin.
Beth: I know I shall be homesick for you even in Heaven. ~L.M. Alcott
"I can never lose one whom I have loved unto the end; one to whom my soul cleaves so firmly that it can never be separated does not go away but only goes before."
