Monday, May 03, 2010

Darkness to light.

I remember when our parents died.
It was in the middle of the night at the end of September. We got
a phone call from the Elmhurst hospital. Sue answered it and yelled down the hall to ask if mom
and dad were home. Sue was asked to send relative to the hospital
so she called Aunt Sunnie and Uncle Mel.

And then we waited for word.
I remember praying and worrying.
For hours.

Finally Aunt Sunnie and Uncle Mel came to the door and told us the terrible,
unthinkable, unbelievable news.

The darkness closed in.
I just remember sobbing and darkness.

Until our next-door neighbors came over and insisted we come and
have breakfast with them.

I so clearly remember walking from our home filled with sorrow and darkness
into the Williams' house. I remember rounding the corner into their kitchen that was filled
with light and busy children and blueberry pancakes.

Around the table we squeezed in and looked with weary eyes at the
flurry of normal activity.

I looked at life.

I wasn't quite sure how I was going to go about it...
but it was very clear that the world had not come to a stop
even tho it felt like it in my heart.

Life would rush forward with all it's light and darkness.

I think of Keith and Wes and Steph and Kurt and Marysa and Jeff and Cindy this morning.

A new week without Sue.

There are birthdays this week and graduations coming up and Mother's day.

Things of life. Things to celebrate.

But here is what I think. Something I realized soon after my parents died.

Sue would want her family to live with happiness and joy and she would
want them to continue loving and celebrating.

Sue would want them to do their very best.
She would want them to laugh and EAT and dance and zip around on a Sea-do.
Because that's what mothers want; they want their families to love one another and be happy.

After our parents died, I wondered how I would ever stand in front of the crowd and cheer....and smile...
It took a few weeks, but it happened. I knew it was what my parents would want for me.

They would want me to be like them.

Living a vibrant beautiful life with great big love.

I know that's what Sue wants for all of us.

I know it with all my heart.



Encourage one another,

p.s. thank you for your love and support
p.p.s. Workshop announcement up tomorrow.

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