Thank you for the wonderful book recommendations! Thank you also to those of you who joined Good Reads and added me. It really is so fun to look thru your books and to see what you loved and did not love so much. I need a button for 'Read so long ago I don't remember a thing about it."
Like I said yesterday, Good Reads has been a very good place to find quotes. But, a little warning about quotes on the internet, check them. Even Good Reads can be wrong in the crediting.
Here is a beautiful quote I saw just this morning. Perhaps I have posted it before. Perhaps not.
But those of you who love Madeleine L'Engle will know it, I am sure.
"I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly."
I have such a deep belief that God is real. But I also can tell you that in my adult life, three times I have felt so abandoned by God. They were times of great pain and suffering. Sometimes physical and sometimes emotional. But in every time the spiritual suffering has been very great. Going from that terrible place where you feel unloved and deserted to climbing that mountain of faith back to belief...I can only think of a mountain climber. Slow, tired, heavy steps.
It must be the Holy Spirit that helps me stay the course. Helps me hang on. Keeps my heart from letting go. Whispers to me, it is true.
I am still coming out of a questioning time.
This community of Saints (you guys) has prayed when I could not.
Advised me with beautiful words and quotes and scriptures.
And patience. I have not fretted that I wasn't moving toward 'reconcilation' fast enough.
I gave myself grace....or mercy...
Those of you with unwavering faith gave me hope.
In the past, I have learned about self-pity and suffering and God's character.
This time it was grief and loss and eternity.
I don't like the fire. Not one bit.
I'm still struggling with prayer.
I pretty much do not ask for anything.
Like Anne Lamott, I say Help and Thanks.
And that has to be okay for now.
Thank you for the years of encouragement,
p.s. the most perfect Scripture shared
Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."