One year ago today Emma had a grand mal or a tonic clonic seizure on a bus coming home for the weekend. The text message was terrifying.
" I had a seizure, they are taking me to the Beloit hospital."
'thus began our longest journey together.'
Emma was diagnosed with Epilepsy the next day and the road to finding the right medicines began.
She had four more TC seizures before the right medicines were found. Two at work and two at home.
All very very scary.
There is no cure but there are very good medications.
I am thankful Emma had 25 carefree years without taking lots of pills and
going to the Neurologist and hospitals regularly.
I am thankful she did not die falling off a building or a cliff.
I am thankful she did not drown or crash a car.
I am thankful that every time she has had a big seizure people have been kind and good to her.
I am thankful for her wonderful friends in Chicago.
I am thankful for Dr. Naryanon.
This diagnosis has been life changing and shocking.
We were all so taken by surprise by it.
But we have done the best we could...
and Emma is feeling well and working hard
and doing the next thing.
There have been tears.
And questions that have been answered...
and left unanswered.
It was her annus horribilis.
Maybe it was my horrible year...cause she probably never heard of this.
(Although she learned Latin so I'm sure she can figure it out.)
And as bad as it was for me...
it was worse to be Emma.
She cried more than usual.
But she did not stomp and storm.
She greets this anniversary with a few more tears.
She says she is not quite ready to write about it. She still gets overwhelmed with big feelings when she tries to write about it.
This morning I was sending her words of humor and encouragement.
I sent her the Fitzgerald quote.
I mean it.
I mean it so much.
Encourage one another,
"One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life.
And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them.
So, she made the decision to survive using courage, humor and grace.
She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers."