I got a job outside the home.
I am a support staff sub at the area school district.
Sometimes a get three calls a week. Sometimes I get zero calls a week.
This week I have been a secretary and a special ed assistant.
Every time they call me I have a minor freak out. I never know where I will go or what I will be doing.
Every day is a first day at a job.
I can say 'no' to the computerized caller...and sometimes I am too scared or off kilter to say yes.
What would make me off kilter?
They call at 5:00am
Or they call and say to be there in half an hour and I am at Target.
And since it is not a person, I can't discuss the assignment.
And I like to ask questions.
The school schedule (Katie hours) is one of the main reasons I chose to look for a job at a school.
Besides I have a little experience teaching and helping kiddos. Yesterday I did a lot of reading and counting and it felt very natural to be doing that.
So the working has been nice. The people and the kids have been nice.
But the five am wake up calls are not my cup of tea. Especially because I wake up at five and do not get a call on those days!! And I can not get back to sleep.
I have applied to a more steady position at a school l like very much...but I have not heard back about it. I hope that one works out. I think I would be much less nervous working at the same place with the same people at the same times....
Going back to work after being away rattles my nerves. I can't wait to get home.
The days seem incredibly long.
Katie is my biggest cheerleader so that is sweet. She is only inconvenienced by having to find a ride to school if I have to go earlier than she does and she does not mind that at all.
I think she is proud of me.
I'm not proud tho, more in a state of shock or disbelief that I have a job.
It's too hard for me to explain why this has been such a big deal for me.
But I'm coming around and accepting this new role I need to play.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
Alan W. Watts
A very favorite dance.
Singing in the Rain is about change...Don and Cosmo are learning to speak well since they are going from Silent Movies to Talkies. :o)
Encourage one another,
Donna
I believe I would feel the same way. I'm proud of you, too! It's a big deal!
ReplyDeleteI wake Ethan up to "Good Morning" from that movie more days than not. It doesn't thrill him...especially when I throw in a tap dance routine down the hall, through the den and to the kitchen. 😄
Donna, I was a substitute librarian for almost five years and I know exactly what you are talking about: butterflies..."will they call, or not" and relief when they did not call and a kind of euphoric panic when they did. I will not say I loved it, but I met so many really nice folks and it did lead to two long term subbing jobs that lasted almost a year each. I am so happy for you, proud of you and will also keep your job situation in our daily prayers. I know God will use you to help the students. love and prayers, jep
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! And prayers that you are offered the steady position you would like. Change can be very hard, but what lucky students and staff to have someone like you in the mix. :)
ReplyDeleteDonna, my heart got all "thumpy" as I read your news about working, I could just imagine that feeling as the phone rang. I'm proud like a mama, you trying this on for size and stretching your boundaries.
ReplyDeleteI can just picture you spreading encouragement where ever you are sent.
On a purely selfish note, I will miss not seeing you here as often. I love this corner of the world.
God bless your mornings, your days, your decisions xxx
I will start gathering working girl movies now..... just like the psychology movies you send my way :) And alright, time to watch Singin' in the Rain again!
ReplyDeleteEmma, I thought the same about Singin' in the Rain.
DeleteBaby Boom. Mrs. Doubtfire. Mr. Mom. Working Girl. I'm sure there are plenty of others....
DeleteI did the same thing, Donna! I am a special ed para at the grades 2-5 elementary school across the street from us. This is my 4th school year and it is still weird because I stayed home for 20 years with our kids!
ReplyDeleteI started when my baby was in 4th grade and I wonder, often, if I have short-changed him. He is kind and smart, so I hope not.
I was a sub for about 6 weeks when I got hired on for 6.5 hours a day.
I love the grown-ups and I love the children. I can come home on my breaks to switch loads and figure out a dinner plan.
I hope you find it to be satisfying as I have!
Bridget in Minnesota
This made my day and literally made me laugh out loud! You have a way with words that perfectly captures the myriad of emotions that many of us have or are experiencing as life opens new doors and opportunities. Cheers to you for being brave! We all should take encouragement from your example and learn to take a deep breath and wade outside of our comfort zones. You are now an official explorer! You will do fabulously! #teambooshay
ReplyDeleteHere's to new adventures! And anytime you can tie in Singin' in the Rain it's a good day!! Not knowing what to expect (each day) is intimidating. I'm sure as you go it will get easier. I hope they call you for that other job too!
ReplyDelete#teambooshay I LOVE THAT. Lovely comments friends!!
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you, Donna. The district is lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteThat was one big step, my friend! It's good for us to S.T.R.E.T.C.H. ourselves and grow a bit as we take on a new adventure. I'm certain you'll be a blessing wherever you go!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Tammy ~@~
You remind me so much of my own mommy. I know you are a blessing to each school you visit. I will be praying for you and thinking of you as you continue on this journey. : )
ReplyDeleteI am soooooooooo proud of you Donna Boo! This is a fantastic segway back to work. Breathe deep. You are so much more able than you think. You are so smart you took the Jeopary quiz! Happy happy for you
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on this new journey in your life! I worked as a substitute teacher when my kids were still in school - I think that, as far as hours go, it was about as perfect a job as I could find. But I agree that there was a lot of anxiety about that early-morning call. A slight dread when they did call...and when they didn't, an initial feeling of freedom followed quickly by a sense of feeling at loose ends. I think my temperament is more suited to having a set schedule and knowing what I am going to do every day. :-)
ReplyDeleteAlmost two years ago, I quit my job to keep our grandson. I loved my job, but I loved keeping my grandson even more. Then, 3 months ago, they moved 5 hours away. I'm at loose ends. My husband and I agree that I am not going back to work a full-time job. We want the flexibility of keeping our grandson when we can, or me going to visit when they need me. At this point, my husband works a job where he is off one full week a month, so we're traveling/camping some.
I'm not sure what I'll do in the future - but then, do any of us really know??? I'll just keep praying that I do what HE wants me to do!
Oh Donna, I understand! Subbing is SO hard because of the uncertainty. After 7 years of substitute teaching (one year with two long-term assignments that together took up most of the school year), I took this year off. I needed a break from the unknown schedule and from the pressures of the constant "yes/no" decision. Here in TN, teachers have to find their own subs and I find it SO hard to say "no" directly to the teacher. But when I worked too much last year, that brought its own pressure.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for you and your subbing and/or your photography business (I read that post which mentioned subbing so then I read this one). I pray you will find the right balance and the work will find you!
Sandy C.