Faith is a really personal thing. It is changing and growing and ebbing and flowing.
The older I get the more I see how huge the realm of faith and belief truly is.
And the older I get, the more I am okay with it.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when is is old he will not depart from it.
I totally and completely took this verse to heart.
I thought it was a promise.
But I'm not sure if it is a promise or if it is just wise, hopeful advice.
In growing up we go thru so much.
I am still growing up and trying to take it all in. Life experiences sometimes make me feel stronger and sometimes weaker.
I guess that's what helps me understand how others may feel.
I tell you about this because of an exchange between Katie and me this morning.
She was moaning about her half day of school today. She would have rather have stayed home.
Mass, Lenten retreat and then stations of the cross.
Big lent celebration before Easter break.
Many of the girls in her class as skipping and heading to Florida.
She wishes she was one of them.
But we are not going to Florida and she is Mary in the 'stations'.
So school it was for her.
Of course I don't want her to have a bad attitude. Her teacher's work hard to make it nice and for heaven's sake...this is Easter.
But when you are 14 you want to have fun.
Rarely is church fun.
And so I said, "Dying on the cross was not a blast."
That's all I could come up with.
But there really was nothing fun about dying on the cross. It was horrible.
I will remember what Jesus did for me a sinner on that day so long ago.
And I will remember that he rose.
It's as simple and hard as that.
Encourage one another,
Donna
I think she taps into something unique about this generation of kids. My 15 year old's most oft-repeated complaint about work, or school, or chores, or even being home with us is 'it's not FUN'. There's a fun-entitlement in him that he certainly didn't get from us, and we are constantly countering it with scripture, reason, and experience/reason - that most trusty three-legged stool. But fun is what he most craves. It's troubling to me... So I pray for glimpses of the truth to run deep and to continue to shape his heart. You're a good mom for helping her to honor her commitment by following through!
ReplyDeleteShould read 'experience/tradition'...
DeleteFirst, I was REALLY committed to having fun when I was younger. At the expense of very basic, responsible living. And I am now a functional adult. At least I think I am (-:
DeleteSecond, I think there is a LOT more pressure on kids now vs. when I was a kid. So I think the "I just want to fly to Florida" response is a normal survival mechanism. And I think calmly saying, "Dying on the cross was not a blast" is some of the most inspired parenting I have heard in a long time.
Third, think about the change in society from when you or I were kids: if anyone goes out to eat: INSTAGRAM, facebook, cyberorama notification. If anyone gets a break to go somewhere fun, we all know about it. "Oh, he got to go skiing." "Oh, she went to the prom." "Oh, blah, blah, blah." Everyone's life looks more fun online than mine. I think that creates external pressure that I never dealt with. I often shudder at the thought of where I would be if I had had a smart phone at 13.
Add to that the number of kids my kids know who don't have to do chores...and our "fun family" status feels TOTALLY lost.
Fourth, fun-entitlement is really hard to live with. You have my sympathy.
Hugs to you, Stephie,
Di
My mom mentor and helpful friend. Love you, Di.
DeleteJust remember, I am the the one that talked about TVP. Not sure you should listen to ANYthing I say (-:
DeletePookie
Pooks,
DeleteMaking TVP chili tonight. :D
I have said a million times I am so glad facebook didn't exist when I was a teenager. for so so many reasons.
DeleteThere are so many hard things about life that we will all experience no matter how desperately we may try to avoid them... I think a little fun is exactly what we need :) taking up our cross does mean leaving behind selfishness but not laughter and joy. I sure hope, at least.
ReplyDeleteAKA dog park and riding your bike. doing your make up really nice some days. eating ice cream MOST days. reading your bible and hitting a volleyball in the sunshine everyday...
DeleteI used to be much more concerned with my privilege and need for suffering because I am a Christian. I still certainly expect suffering, and want to live my life with my face turned towards Christ... but like you said. 14. lots of time. lots of time.
Yes. I was not disappointed with her. I knew it was the age...and there are lots of times I'm squirming in my seat at mass.
DeleteIn Kim and with Kim.
DeleteLol.
DeleteEmma is definitely NOT one of the 20-somethings expecting life to coddle her. Keep doing you, Emma.
DeleteMary Z
AND that Jesus knew you, your name, on that terrible day....
ReplyDeletethousands of years ago
Yes...thank you, Jesus.
DeleteAmen. Thank you, Jesus.
DeleteDebbie Z.
I could not love you more, Donna. What a to-the-point, honest observation. Definitely not a blast.
ReplyDeleteAnd Steph, I completely agree with you about young people feeling entitled. I work with some very wonderful young people, but the twenty-somethings certainly feel entitled and need to be coddled. As a parent of a twenty-something and a teen, I plead guilty to doing perhaps too much for them. I hope and pray I have enough in the good column to balance things out.
Mary Z
For clarification, I do not feel that all twenty-somethings feel entitled or have been spoiled.
DeleteMZ
Well...right after I said this to her....we saw the man peeing beside the road...so we laughed mighty hard about that.
ReplyDeleteSome things are funny. Some are not.
Praising God is fun.
Reflecting on his death is a serious time.
It's okay to be somber. It makes the fun much funner.
You are such a good mom, Donna.
DeleteDi
I can not say enough times how this QL community feeds my soul. I sound like a nut case, but I'd drop everything to join up sometime, somewhere - to meet all of you lovely, deep, wise, funny, authentic, creative, joyful, vulnerable, transparent, hilarious women! When I pop in every day (or multiple times a day to catch up on comments), I feel like I've just met up with an old friend who understands me, pushes me to dig deeper, and accepts me in all my imperfection...
ReplyDeleteDonna, you are so very wise. I love your reflections (as they so often feel like they've been plucked right from my head and heart) and your poems and photos are like music to my soul!
OK - enough gushing. Just had to share the love!
-- mary e. from wheaton
I agree!
DeleteThank you so much.
DeleteAdd me to the bandwagon!
DeleteYep!
DeleteSarah P. from Iowa
Totally agree.
DeleteDebbie Z.
I agree with Mary E.!!!
DeleteMary Z
Quiet Life Retreat! For the reals.
DeleteSrsly.
Deletemelinda sue - I think you're on to something. I'm.not.kidding.
DeleteOK - so where and when. Hmmm.
This could be exciting!
-- mary e. from wheaton
Donna, you make a very good point, and your heartfelt words to Katie definitely resonate with me.
ReplyDelete(Side note: I think Proverbs is a book of wisdom and truths, but not necessarily promises. I need to investigate further, because now I am curious.)
You are setting the example, the tone for your dear daughter, as to how to walk the life of faith - how it's lived out in real life. I believe that she will know and have her own convictions, beliefs. And in time understand that this walk of faith is very often filled with JOY.
Also, add me to the number who is so thankful for the cross.
'It's as simple and as hard as that' Amen!
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I've always prayed to Mother Mary for help or guidance. Maybe someday Katie will reflect on this day and look up to Mary as a loving prayer pal. : )
Love ya,
Sarah P. from Iowa
I got got home. The stations of the cross were beautiful. Very moving.
ReplyDeleteSo glad <3
DeleteI think of Proverbs as: " go this direction, don't go that way, it leads to bad stuff". I love Proverbs and try to read a chapter every day I need wisdom! You are a good mama.
ReplyDeleteIt's always an interesting thing when I come here. I write mini-novel comments, then delete them. Repeat a few times. And then I end up leaving no comment!
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say? My heart is always too full of so many things from so many conversations.
So glad you are here and can say what you say without writing a mini-novel, Donna. All I need to say in response is AMEN!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
It mays seem like fun now, but her friends that skipped out are the ones really missing out!!
ReplyDeleteJust getting here, but I want to add my two cents to say: You are a good Mama and that was the correct response and action to take. Katie will learn best by example…we are role models for our children and grandchildren. And, that is the first scripture that I learned as a wee little girl from a bookmark that my grandmother gave me. love and prayers, jep
ReplyDeleteAmen SISTER Donna! The nuns would definitely have said that !
ReplyDeleteYou are such a great Mom.
ReplyDelete