Since they were babies I loved and prayed for these beloved humans.
I know was flawed.
But I never didn't pray or try my hardest to make choices that were in their best interest.
And then they become adults.
Or kind of adults.
Someones idea of adults.
And they make choices that smack you in the face and thrown you to the ground in
disbelief and dismay.
And you wonder how someone could hear you preach something for their whole lives and do the opposite.
It is especially difficult for me since I have always been a rule follower and a straight arrow.
So I don't understand someone not taking my most excellent life advice to heart.
I do not think I ever will understand this.
My husband is not as shocked as I am.
He had a colorful past.
I suppose I was filled with pride expecting to be listened to and respected.
I know Elisabeth Elliot would say, do it as unto the Lord.
If you are doing whatever you are doing as unto the Lord, you will not fail.
(Because you had the right motivation.)
And maybe sometimes I had the right motivation and sometimes I didn't.
Obeying me would protect them from lots of woes.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, they have to make their own mistakes and learn from them (or not.)
But it's hard not being god...even tho you didn't actually know that's what you were up to.
And so as the last birdie flies the nest,
I will feel relief that I am off sentry duty.
But our sweet times will be missed.
When I am feeling blue I feel like I failed my life's calling.
When I am not having a pity party,
I know I did what I wanted to do and I think I would do it again,
because there is nothing I love more than being a mom.
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
It's hidden in the heart.
"... but you can love completely without complete understanding."
A River Runs Thru It
“No whimpering, madam! You can't have the joys of motherhood without some of its pangs! Think of your blessings, and don't be a coward!—”
~ Kate Douglas Wiggin, Mother Carey's Chickens
Teaching me things 25 years later.
From a little poster I have in my house from Lindsey Letters;
Believe the Best
Forgive the Rest and say
I love you.