"Do not do for your child what he can do for himself. We need to reject all of this popular "self-esteem" stuff. The world’s problems can be summarized in one simple expression: too much self-esteem. Too many people think they are too good for what they get in life. They think they deserve better. And among the things which foster such notions is parents fawning over their little children. For the first year of his life, you pretty much need to do everything for him. But after that, the situation should begin to change rapidly. He can learn to do many things for himself in the next couple of years. He can clean up his own messes.
An important corollary to this is: Do not do for yourself what your child can do for you. Your child needs to esteem himself lower than others, beginning with his parents. He can gather the clothes for laundry, and he can fold the laundry. Then he can do the laundry. He can set the table and wash the dishes. Then he can help fix the meals. He can vacuum the floor and dust the furniture. Then he can wash the windows. If you do all of this for him, then he will get a notion of self-esteem: "I am so important everyone ought to do things for me." But if he learns to do it for himself, then he will get a notion of self-confidence: "I can do it myself." And if he learns to do it for you, then he will get a notion of self-usefulness: "I can be helpful and I am needed around here.""
-Teaching the Trivium by Harvey and Laurie Bluedorn p. 327.
I just love this line,
"I can do it myself." And if he learns to do it for you, then he will get a notion of self-usefulness: "I can be helpful and I am needed around here."
I need to do this!
Since I stay at home, I figure it is my job to do most of the work myself...but I may not be doing my children any favors with this attitude.
Emma (15) does her own laundry, unloads the dishwasher, helps pick up when I ask, and watches her little sister when I run errands...not a terribly long list...hummm....
I think it would benefit her to start preparing meals.
Anyone else have their teens preparing evening meals?
We put the kids to work in Chicago last month. Here they are cleaning windows at the John Hancock building!!!
Encourage one another,
If you are interested in Classical Christian Homeschooling check out the Bluedorn's very meaty, passionate book.