Saturday, February 12, 2005

Regrets, I've had a few...

I did fight with my mom, and she died in October of my Senior year. We had a great talk and I remember a nice weekend right before she died though so I don't "hate" myself for fighting with her...I was just more rebellious than my other perfect sisters
Sister Sue

By the way, Sue...I was not perfect or even good when I was a teen. My unkind thoughts were inside my head. So even if I didn't tell Mom and Dad how angry or disappointed I was by a rule or situation the rebellious thoughts were there...inside my head.

I think I was too afraid to talk back.

I wanted to get along.

So even tho I didn't fight outwardly with our parents, I have regrets too.
Regrets like not choosing a nicer Mother's Day card.

"These are all too nice for Mom."


Haunts me a little.

But I can and do overcome those guilty feelings, as I know you do too, by remembering that we were just young girls...

Hopefully we have grown and have matured and have become wiser over the years.

I, too, have a good memory with mom and dad the week before they died.
I am thankful for those gentle, sweet memories of our parents from our teen years.

I know our children will have many more good memories than bad ones...just like we do!

Real life is bumpy. It is imperfect.

The idealism of youth can be rough on parents.

From Parenthood

[Gil has been complaining about his complicated life; Grandma wanders into the room]
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

Grandma exits to wait in the car.
Gil rolls his eyes.

Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah if she's so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?

I sure hope our children 'happen to like the roller coaster' too.
Because our life has definitely NOT been a merry-go-round.

Encourage one another,

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