Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The sweetest dance class ever and
blurry, poorly lit, no flash photos and squamous cell carcinoma...

That about sums up my day yesterday.

Who can guess the ballet the girls are preforming?

With the end of this class/recital, comes the end of ballet for Katie for now.
Mrs. Mast at Storybook Ballet only teaches up to 7 years old.
Mrs. Mast is so lovely and perfect we all want her to teach forever.
But she has her niche.
Which she fills with grace and beauty and professionalism...
And I am going to miss her.

Katie is not so sentimental.
She doesn't know quite how special Mrs. Mast is...
and she is dying to take gymnastics again.

We can only take one special class like this at a time and Katie has been longing to go back to gymnastics.


So I go to the doctor, and she cut off 13 tags(Um. Gross) and then she said, "Well this we will biopsy"
And I thought bibopsy.

From what I could see, I have a little red 'rash' on my back. Under my bra strap.
So, from what I could see, (cause you can't see your back very well) it was nothing at all resembling skin cancer.

But I guess when you are looking at it with an experienced eye.
It looks like squamous cell carcinoma.

She (the NP) was quick to tell me that this is not a melanoma and not serious.
But she will biopsy (bibopsy) it and call me....and if it is THE cancer, it will be removed.

No biggie.

(And by the way, every time the NP says biopsy to me, I feel just like Fezzick and say bibopsy in my head. Those of you who have read The Princess Bride will understand this.)

So I left the clinic feeling fine but a little tiny bit disturbed by this news.

And then I started getting teeny tiny little stings in 14 spots on my body.

Yeah, there goes the lidocaine.

And I didn't worry, really.

And then...

Each time one of my little owies called out...

I worried again.

And after dinner I wanted a turtle sundae and I realized I was really starting to worry.

Because, stuffing down fear with food works really well. (sarcasm...kinda)

But I didn't do it. I recognized what was going on.
And had my hubby take a picture of my owie instead.

And it does look most like a squamous cell carcinoma.

Cause you know...I was slowly convincing myself all day that it was a melanoma.

Every day, I pray for people every day who are young and have cancer and they are brave and have great faith and it breaks my heart.

And I don't know if I could be one of those brave ones.

I really don't know.

So, for now, I will practice a lot of denial until I find out more.

And play a guessing game.

Name that movie:

"It's not a tum-uh (tumor)."

"I want you to tell them it ain't so tragic!
People do get better.
Tell them it's OK to talk about the cancer!"


Did you watch Dancing with the Stars?
Who do you think will be in the final two?
(Will they do a final two or will it be a final three?)

Encourage one another,

NP is nurse practitioner.
For some reason...we never get to see a doctor.
I think it has something to do with our insurance plan.
I'm not making this up.

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